The Zim Family Cocker Spaniel Forum

Life has been coming at me from all directions lately.

The dogs are fine - no problem there except that in the frenzy we decided to ease brushing chores by buzz cutting them both. They look a little nekked with their coats cut so short but we left a little fluff on their legs and feet. Both decided that snuggling is so much more fun when you need the warmth. LOL

We all volunteer at Girl Scout Day Camp and now have that out of the way for this year. I miss it already. lol I teach the Lanyard Lacing program, hubby teaches the Progression Cooking (firepit, dutch oven, box ovens), Caitlyn led a rambunctious bunch of 3rd graders that kept her on her toes all week and Michaella is a Program Assistant with a 5th grade Unit. The weather in Wisconsin had been blistering and muggy most of the summer so we were blessed with a nice week - only a little rain one night and pleasant temperatures for once.

Michaella starts back at High School as a Junior right after Labor Day so we are in school shopping mode. Who'd have thunk that at 16, she'd grow more... So lots of new clothes for her and an empty checkbook for me. Sigh.

Caitlyn is going on the biggest adventure of her life... She is 21 and taking Psychology for her major, and Asian Culture for her minor. Tomorrow morning, we will be taking her to Chicago to fly out to Japan. She'll be studying abroad at a university in Nagoya for a whole year. I love both my girls with all my heart, but Caitlyn is my "minnie me velcro kid" so I'm going to miss her so much while she is gone. She has chosen to stay at home during her studies so she has never lived on her own. I have to say I'm proud of her for being brave enough to make her first step away from home 6500 miles away - but I'm scared for her too and lately it has dawned on her just how big a step she is taking. She will be with a host family there (a mom and dad about our age who's kids are grown so they have the extra room) so she is thinking that she'll fit right in. It's a traditional kind of house but aside from the location, we know very little about them. The 15 hour flight will stop once in Seoul Korea before moving on to Nagoya. We are waiting for an email from the host family to find out where they'll meet there and once she is safely with them I can relax. The University is 2 miles from their home so she can take a bus, the subway or get a bike to ride once she gets her bearings. School starts next week for her too and with classes in english and japanese, she is going to be busy. I just hope that she finds a place with internet access so we can keep in touch.

Spending so much time with Caitlyn, shopping, packing and tracking down things that needed to be done to prepare her - I've been ignoring Michaella. So on Labor Day, she, her boyfriend and I will spend the whole day at a Reniassance Faire in Southern Wisconsin. This is an outing that I've done so many times over the years with Caitlyn and her Girl Scout troop that it feels like a second home for us. She went earlier this month with the girls while I was recouperating from a banged up knee (long story, but I took a less than graceful fall on a sidewalk and ended up in the ER a few days later with a lot of damage to the leg). I'm hoping I can keep up with them, but if not, I'll hold their seats at the shows and they can wander together. Thank goodness for Cell phones. LOL

I've been putting off having sinus surgery that needed doing so this week has been a series of pre-operation appointments for tests, CT scans, xrays and blood work. Next Week on the 7th, while both girls are in their respective schools, I'll be having the surgery done. Then a week of downtime and hopefully I'll be ready to take on the world again.

So who are the saints for safe travel, relaxation and health? I could use a few prayers and one for how to slow down this crazy Merry-go-round, I wanna get off for a bit.

Wow, you do have a full plate of changes in your home then the pending surgery to add to it. I'm sure things will go smoothly and you can get some emotional rest soon. Things just need to happen and your family set. I'm sure your daughter will love her studying abroad once she is all settled in. It's going to be an adjustment though, I'm sure.

prayers for the girls and prayers for you, that all the transitions go smoothly.

I think I'd be completely dizzy by now from that crazy ride!!! I see why you want off for a while. Your daughter is certainly going on quite an adventure! Prayers and good luck to her.
St. Christopher is the most commonly thought of Patron Saint of Travelers but there are others such as
Saint Bridget of Ireland.
Also, I hope all goes well with your surgery and have fun at the Faire!

Well, the Merry-Go-Round is still spinning, but at least it is falling into place...

Caitlyn is now in Japan. Her send off was quicker than I would have liked. O'Hare International is a tight place security-wise so they were not about to let me go through and sit with her until she boarded. I went to where she checked in and then hugged her tight, turned her towards the guards and told my little sparrow to "Go, spread your wings and fly"... She went through, kept turning back to look and wave as she waited in line and I hoped she couldn't see the tears in my eyes as I watched her until I couldn't see her anymore. We texted back and forth from my van for a while until she'd found her terminal and was settled in to wait for boarding. I had my cry, sent up prayers for her safe flight and that the host family would be right for her, and went home to monitor her flights on the flight trackers. Then came the waiting, and waiting, and waiting... She arrived about 9:00 pm and didn't have time to contact me from Nagoya's airport before her family met up with her. They go ther home and to bed and it took her a while to sleep and figure out how to hook up to their internet. But, she finally did and it is apparent not that I didn't need to worry so much. Isn't that usually the way it is? lol The new family is wonderful and the University couldn't have made a better choice for her. She played Violin in High School and loves music. The mother plays the Koto and Violin and the father plays Saxophone. When they asked her what type of music she likes she mentioned "Pop and Lady Gaga" and they broke into humming the beginning bars of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". She also LOVES Hello Kitty and many of the characters made by the Sanrio Company and was tickled to find the room decorated with their daughter's left behind Sanrio Toys - many of which started her love affair with all things Asian so many years ago. She will not be able to spend much time on the internet as they can only allow about half an hour a day - internet there is very expensive and paid for by usage, not free time online with an account like here. That is a good thing for encouraging her to get out and explore, but a bad thing for a worried mother. lol She will keep in touch with emails and we'll set up a schedule for short Skype calls, but for the most part - I'll live her adventure vicariously through her blog. She has given me permission to put the link out to friends who would like to follow along... http://caytinnagoya.tumblr.com/

On other news... Michaella decided that with the surgery coming up and my knee still healing, we will forego the outing to RenFaire this year. I'm off of my arthritis meds in preparation for the sinus surgery so the outing would be difficult, but something I still wanted to do to spend one on one time with her. Instead, she has invited her boyfriend to hang out at our place for the day so we'll do a picnic and bonfire if the weather holds up. It's raining today and supposed to tomorrow, but Monday is supposed to be nice. He is a sweet fellow and I'm glad they have found each other. Glad too that they are good friends and were before they started dating. Yes, life is good. Crazy busy, but good.

I'm scheduled for the surgery on Wednesday and have had all tests, exams and pre-op appointments so I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be. I guess I need to follow the advice I gave Caitlyn - to look forward, not backward, keep your head up and keep moving and to always look for the silver lining. My silver lining is that I hope to be healthier and find peace knowing that my girls are in great hands and that things will work out no matter how much I worry.

Sigh... Ok, I found a way to slow things down. Just go have surgery. I'm on day 3 and hoping the worst is over. Surgery went well according to the doctor and I was home pretty quickly Wednesday night. Friday I sneezed and out popped one of the gel packs she uses instead of packing the sinuses with gauze and today another one came out. She says that happens and not to worry about it. I'm still living from one pain pill to the next - the headache is murder but taking it easy and doing a lot of sleeping.

Caitlyn has been checking in regularly on her Blog too and her news is wonderful. She is truly having a great time and I can relax and not worry about her - except for maybe her not wanting to come home next may. lol

No rest for the wicked around here. Last night Michaella came home from a football bame and asked if we could have a houseguest for a while. A friend off her's was pretty much thrown out on the sidewalk by her folks after she reported being raped by her brother. They arrived home to detectives in the house and her parents threatening her if she ever showed up there again. Good grief - what is wrong with some parents? I've known for a long time that things weren't normal for this girl, but this is over the top even for them. I'm hoping that my shock is more that I don't know the whole story, but I'm horrified by what I did hear. She is 16 and the detectives allowed her to stay with a friend last night but they can't take her for more than a day or two. With Caitlyn in Japan, we have an empty bed (tho the room isn't empty) so... So much to consider, legalities, risks, taking in a person I don't know well who will definitely need counseling to get through this. She turns 17 soon and wants to declare emancipation so she can live on her own in her own apartment. Poor thing really needs someone to just fold her in a hug and help her learn how to be a child, not how to be an adult too soon.

I sincerely hope the girl gets the help she needs, how awful for her to have to go through that and than suffer again the injustices from her family.
wow just wow thats a lot on one plate, my sister used to bring home stray kids constantly, my mom usually had a open door poilcy for anyone needing help one of her friend stayed for 6 months (kicked out for letting her dad know her mom was cheating with the personal trainer), another one stayed for a little over a year (not sure why) I don't think there was a time from the age of 12-17 that there wasn't kids in our house constantly that didn't belong to us.
I hope your feeling better soon.

Sending prayers for you Heather. I'm still a teenager myself, and life is hard! My mom
is constantly dealing with my crap, along with my siblings. Allison's going off to college this year
and that'll be hard on everyone in the family. And I'll be going in 2 years... I hardly get time
to relax anymore...and I'm still in high school myself. Its concerning! I feel like a broken
record saying this but between work, school, & our current family issues.... I don't really have time
to sit around and do nothing. And whenever I do have time to relax, thats when my friends attack me with
trying to hang out or go to some social event that I really sometimes would prefer to sit at home and just sleep or watch a movie!
And I have PSAT's in a couple of weeks.

Anyways, thats REALLY cool your daughter gets to study abroad! I was thinking about doing that too.. I would wanna go to
Italy, England, & Rome. I think those were a couple they offered at some schools I was looking at. But, we'll see.

Prayers on your surgery & I hope everything goes well. Prayers for your daughters too!

Good luck to your daughter in Japan and your daughter in High-School too. We're probably in the same boat.

Many years ago, well after two AM my kids came into my bedroom and woke me up saying a friend of theirs had just wakened them by throwing rocks at their bedroom windows. Seems the girl (age 15) had been beaten up by her father and thrown out of the house - for what we never knew. I also didn't know her very well. We didn't have a spare room but we did have a trundle under my daughter's daybed. We called her folks, told them the girl was with us and we felt they all needed some cooling down time. We also called the police and told them we had her staying with us and that the parents were notified. The police came and questioned her but were satisfied she was in a safe place. About 4 days later we called the mother again and after much discussion helped them get into family counseling. They girl stayed with us for a couple of weeks and had the same curfew as my kids, the same expectations for her behavior too. About a year later I got a note from the girl thanking me for all I did to "help them as a family" (I still have the note).

I suggestion is to follow your heart.

thank you all for your comments and thoughts... Having moved out at 16 myself after years of abuse, court appearances, delays and counseling sessions, I know well what this girl may be going through and what she is facing no matter what she decides. Why is it that the Lord puts parents here to guide our children, then lets the unfinished child be the one that has to decide their own fate? Sometimes I just fear for our future if we can't raise our children to be strong, confident adults.

For now, the girl is in protective custody while the courts decide whether to grant her wish for emancipation. She is just 16 and should be home doing homework, hanging with her friends and learning about life, not trying to grow up and be an adult so soon. We'll be here to help her out if she needs it and the courts allow it.

Em, if you can work out a study abroad program - go for it. Even if you have to work out a loan or scholarship deal - do it. You'll learn so much about the world and yourself by taking even one semester or a summer break traveling to a new land. I you don't speak the language fluently, definitely try to get in with a host family or go with a group. Of Caitlyn's friends who have traveled, you can tell how it has helped them grow and appreciate the opportunities that life has to offer. It really does make a difference.

To those who have been recipients of or have taken in children in need. Yes, I remember the risks that others took to help me when I needed it. They helped me through the times when the only place I could find to flop or the night was a park bench or my old junker of a car. I believe that if you keep an open heart, the Lord will provide. Sometimes the "provision" is giving a child in need a place to sleep or a hug just to let them know that they are important. Other times it is when they return the favor by telling you what it meant to them, or showing you that despite their start in life, they have been able to succeed just because you cared when others didn't. Because of my own start, I've worked with many girls in need with various organizations in our area and have never regretted it.