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 Post subject: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:52 pm 
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So we have had Toby for just over a week now. I am so happy to report every day a little more of his personality comes out. I was clipping coupons yesterday and he was sitting on the paper shredding it! It was so cute:) I know I made the right decision to keep him but I need reassurance that housetraining will get easier. He knows to go outside but as soon as he is in the house he pees again. He has lifted his leg on our other dogs, people, the trash can. Will he ever know to let us know he has to go out? I am second guessing my decision about his quality of life but he is sooo sweet. I am truly torn. To make things worse, my female just went into heat and he is going wild. He finally barks!! Since he is already 2 years old and I have no idea how long he has been blind, will he be able to train? Was it a selfish decision on my part to not take him back to the breeder? Lots of people have told me putting him down would be the best thing for him that he will have no quality of life:( Anyone who has been in this situation please tell me your success stories:)))

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My babes~Black Gypsy Rose Cynders 05/27/09 & Toby buff male 11/08/08

Still in my heart Shawnee girl 02/14/2000-07/14/2009


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:24 pm 
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Hi Kris:

I don't know if you contacted the ladies I told you about, but they would be a good resource. They've dealt with many blind dogs since I've been a member of this forum. Also, I found this book that you might want to take a look at:

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Blind-Dogs ... 0967225345

I have obviously had no need for it and can't say if it's a good or bad resource - but it's at least a starting point to try to help answer some of your questions.

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:51 pm 
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Hi Wayne,
I did check it out and she has some awesome ideas. He is really good going potty outside and I know my female in heat makes him want to mark. I just feel so bad for him. I am so angry at the breeder who bred him and never had him treated or tested and mistreated him for so long. Today is just a really bad day. I am taking it one day at at time. Everything happens for a reason, he was meant to be a part of our family:)

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My babes~Black Gypsy Rose Cynders 05/27/09 & Toby buff male 11/08/08

Still in my heart Shawnee girl 02/14/2000-07/14/2009


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:00 pm 
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If he isn't already, then I highly recommend you have him neutered IMMEDIATELY.

Why would anybody think it is best he be put down? :shock:

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:13 am 
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why would he need to be put down? because he is blind? I never had a blind dog, but I cat that went blind,and she was very happy. I agree he should be neutered ASAP. It might not make a difference right away,but it should help. Give him time for the housebreaking thing... he's not known any different for two years he went wherever he wanted...you must watch him like a hawk! Crate and/or on a leash attached to you. If you can't keep an eagle eye on him at the time, he should be in the crate. Good Luck!

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Zoey parti-color DOB 2/20/2009 my first dog
Deuce the maine coon cat
Flash the ragdoll cat
Riley and Grayson my "skin kids"
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Sam and Carly the hermit crabs


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:47 am 
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I have had two blind dogs and never once thought of putting either of them down. :dk I worked with them on being able to find their way around.

I suggest neutering to put a stop to the unwanted marking behavior, then working hard on house training using a crate. :th-up

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:03 am 
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i LOVE LOVE LOVE blind Cockers! Not that I'd ever wish one to be blind, but I've had many in my home, when I ran the local rescue and fostered regularly. If people are saying he should be put down BECAUSE he is blind, I'd easily get into my witchy mode and reply "I hope your children don't feel the same when YOU get older!"

Look into using Belly Bands indoors - go out with him to be SURE he is going potty when he is out. Neuter the sweet boy (and, pardon me for not knowing your situation, but is spaying your female an option?). And use a LOT of Nature's Miracle where he's gone/marked inside - even tho WE can't smell it, they CAN.

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:26 am 
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We got our rescue, Beau, when he was two years old, un-neutered. We knew nothing of his back ground, as he was found running in the streets. We had him neutered immediately. It has been a struggle getting him completely house trained. I now, two years later, take him out every 2 to 3 hours. If we can't keep an eye on him, he wears the belly band (we call them his potty pants). He will not go to the door if I ask him if he wants to out. But, if I take him out on the leash, he will potty. We are so pleased with how far he has come now, that we will suffer having to take him out on the leash.
Maybe someday he will have something in his brain click and he will tell us he wants to go out. The potty pants help me not have to stress about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:37 am 
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Kris T Wisconsin wrote:
Lots of people have told me putting him down would be the best thing for him that he will have no quality of life:( Anyone who has been in this situation please tell me your success stories:)))


Okay - first of all, forgive me if I come off sounding really nasty BUT, I adopted Miss Maxine at about 13 years. She was old, blind (both eyes had been removed) and had a bad heart. I'm sure more than one person thought I was crazy (and several said so). The shelter could have put her down and probably would have felt justified based on her "quality of life". In the almost two years that I've had my old girl she has gotten into more mischief, experienced more and enjoyed more than likely in her whole life to that point. It makes me crazy when people say a dog with a disability would be better off dead than not being able to see - and that IS what they're saying. So if the pup isn't perfect let's get rid of him because after all, if he's blind he'll never lie in the sun and smell spring coming, taste ice cream and let it dribble all over his face, stretch out in front of a fireplace on a cold night and feel safe and content, lean against his owner and feel love. Aren't THOSE things what makes for quality of life? If Maxine has taught me anything it's that we all have something to overcome to make our life what we want. And if she dealt with all she did and came through gentle and loving anyone else can too. So if you need reassurance that you taking that pup and loving him is right - you've got it from me! :th-up

As far as training, do the crate training, be consistent, have him neutered, and follow the great advice you have already gotten.

And the other thing Miss Maxine has taught is forgiveness. That's what I do when I hear people make remarks about "quality of life" which shows little understanding of what real quality is.

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:09 pm 
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Vickie wrote:
Kris T Wisconsin wrote:
Lots of people have told me putting him down would be the best thing for him that he will have no quality of life:( Anyone who has been in this situation please tell me your success stories:)))


Okay - first of all, forgive me if I come off sounding really nasty BUT, I adopted Miss Maxine at about 13 years. She was old, blind (both eyes had been removed) and had a bad heart. I'm sure more than one person thought I was crazy (and several said so). The shelter could have put her down and probably would have felt justified based on her "quality of life". In the almost two years that I've had my old girl she has gotten into more mischief, experienced more and enjoyed more than likely in her whole life to that point. It makes me crazy when people say a dog with a disability would be better off dead than not being able to see - and that IS what they're saying. So if the pup isn't perfect let's get rid of him because after all, if he's blind he'll never lie in the sun and smell spring coming, taste ice cream and let it dribble all over his face, stretch out in front of a fireplace on a cold night and feel safe and content, lean against his owner and feel love. Aren't THOSE things what makes for quality of life? If Maxine has taught me anything it's that we all have something to overcome to make our life what we want. And if she dealt with all she did and came through gentle and loving anyone else can too. So if you need reassurance that you taking that pup and loving him is right - you've got it from me! :th-up

As far as training, do the crate training, be consistent, have him neutered, and follow the great advice you have already gotten.

And the other thing Miss Maxine has taught is forgiveness. That's what I do when I hear people make remarks about "quality of life" which shows little understanding of what real quality is.

:cry well said!

_________________
Zoey parti-color DOB 2/20/2009 my first dog
Deuce the maine coon cat
Flash the ragdoll cat
Riley and Grayson my "skin kids"
Princess Bambi the bunny
Sam and Carly the hermit crabs


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:38 pm 
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that took me to tears..
of course it is difficult, annoying, frustrating and often a doubting situation to have a blind dog when you were not expecting anything other then the perfect little one to fill your heart.
And yes, that breeder should have known there was a problem but that is neither here nor there now.
The little guy is in your home and he needs your heart. He may cause work and create some issues but, so what?
IF you really can not handle his disability then find a home that can. Be fair to the furry soul that did nothing wrong. He won't be happy if he is with a family that considers him a problem child.
But I think you can handle him just from the way you are enjoying his shredding up your papers when you were cutting coupons. And you are reaching out...
Do you have your work cut out for you? Yup...you do.
Is there going to be dog pee on your floors? Count on it.
but..I have a fifteen weeker and I have pee on my floor...and she certainly is a great deal of work!!
Is she blind? no
but she does not know how to listen very well yet, she runs off with my underwear and I get sleep only some nights.
it is only a matter of training.
I think that when you come to accepting that your blind baby is yours and that you are committed to providing him the best life possible, that your responsiblity is now to find out how to train and keep happy a blind furchild then that is when your gifts will come.
My best bet, my heart truths tell me that if you can accept your challenge and embrace what is required of you now that you will receive far greater then anything you can give to him.
It is a dogs heart that heals our own.
He will see the world through those around him who love him.
Your his Momma....your eyes will be his vision. And he will thrive with all of the other senses he does have. Given a chance he will be amazing.
I know there are many others on this site that will encourage you, understand you and speaking for myself...consider you a hero for doing what is best for your happy, trusting and yes blind furchild.
PS
there is nothing wrong with admitting limitations. IF you really can't then do find someone who can.


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:15 am 
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If what you really want is to keep Toby and just get encouragement, I think you are getting some great advice. But if you are still on the fence, keep in mind that only you know what you and your family can or can't do. And only you can determine how well Toby is coping.

While raising a blind dog for the next 12 years or so may be challenging but very rewarding for some people, for others it could be depressing and frustrating. If you decide that this is really not for you for any reason at any time, hopefully you can find another home for Toby and if you can't, putting him down may be the best option. There are lots of other dogs out there who need to be rescued and who do not have such severe issues. Yours might be the perfect home for one of those, but not for this one.

Either way, I think it is great that you are so concerned about Toby's quality of life and I wish you all the best.

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Duncan McTavish, a Scottie
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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:34 am 
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beckyboo wrote:
Vickie wrote:
Kris T Wisconsin wrote:
Lots of people have told me putting him down would be the best thing for him that he will have no quality of life:( Anyone who has been in this situation please tell me your success stories:)))


Okay - first of all, forgive me if I come off sounding really nasty BUT, I adopted Miss Maxine at about 13 years. She was old, blind (both eyes had been removed) and had a bad heart. I'm sure more than one person thought I was crazy (and several said so). The shelter could have put her down and probably would have felt justified based on her "quality of life". In the almost two years that I've had my old girl she has gotten into more mischief, experienced more and enjoyed more than likely in her whole life to that point. It makes me crazy when people say a dog with a disability would be better off dead than not being able to see - and that IS what they're saying. So if the pup isn't perfect let's get rid of him because after all, if he's blind he'll never lie in the sun and smell spring coming, taste ice cream and let it dribble all over his face, stretch out in front of a fireplace on a cold night and feel safe and content, lean against his owner and feel love. Aren't THOSE things what makes for quality of life? If Maxine has taught me anything it's that we all have something to overcome to make our life what we want. And if she dealt with all she did and came through gentle and loving anyone else can too. So if you need reassurance that you taking that pup and loving him is right - you've got it from me! :th-up

As far as training, do the crate training, be consistent, have him neutered, and follow the great advice you have already gotten.

And the other thing Miss Maxine has taught is forgiveness. That's what I do when I hear people make remarks about "quality of life" which shows little understanding of what real quality is.

:cry well said!



Very, very, well said! Vickie, you are awesome!

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Rocky (7/18/02), Onyx (10/2/10), Misty (8/15/11), and Ethan (10/20/11)
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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:09 pm 
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When our blind dog was first "made" blind.....he was seven years old-- I had him in high school. We competed in 4-h and he followed me everywhere in the barn and down the trails riding horses. When he laid down in my arms and told me it was that time, he was just one month shy of 19.

For a blind dog, he saw me:

Win two national championships in High school and he ate cake with me at my grad party.
Move out and start my own life.
Struggle through almost failing college because I couldnt pull my head out of my butt.
Finally walk across that stage with a degree and honors.
Stuck in a domestically violent relationship...all the while being my constant companion.
Live in a battered women's shelter for fear my ex would kill me like he promised because I left.
Pick up the pieces and re-build.
Find joy and finally peace.


Heck of a lot for a blind dog to see. He was there for it ALL. I never once listened to the people who told me that a blind dog was better off "not suffering" here on Earth. Did he wreck my stuff? YES. Did he teach me how to love again? Yes. Did he teach me there is so much more to life than the simple stuff...absolutely. I learned more from him than I ever taught him.

Living with your blind dog will be a never ending challenge, but you'll learn in ways you never thought possible. PM if you need.


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:22 pm 
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Jordan&Kerri wrote:
When our blind dog was first "made" blind.....he was seven years old-- I had him in high school. We competed in 4-h and he followed me everywhere in the barn and down the trails riding horses. When he laid down in my arms and told me it was that time, he was just one month shy of 19.

For a blind dog, he saw me:

Win two national championships in High school and he ate cake with me at my grad party.
Move out and start my own life.
Struggle through almost failing college because I couldnt pull my head out of my butt.
Finally walk across that stage with a degree and honors.
Stuck in a domestically violent relationship...all the while being my constant companion.
Live in a battered women's shelter for fear my ex would kill me like he promised because I left.
Pick up the pieces and re-build.
Find joy and finally peace.


Heck of a lot for a blind dog to see. He was there for it ALL. I never once listened to the people who told me that a blind dog was better off "not suffering" here on Earth. Did he wreck my stuff? YES. Did he teach me how to love again? Yes. Did he teach me there is so much more to life than the simple stuff...absolutely. I learned more from him than I ever taught him.

Living with your blind dog will be a never ending challenge, but you'll learn in ways you never thought possible. PM if you need.


You have stated this situation about sharing life with a blind dog better than I could have imagined. You have LIVED it. :hp

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Missing Abi and Leroy with all my heart.


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:44 pm 
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Juanita,

With tears I share your heart..your experiences and especially your journey to success.

Thank you for sharing ...you have touched me.

Jan :hp


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:45 pm 
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my apology...

that message was for Jordan..

still touched


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:02 am 
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jan21 wrote:
that took me to tears..
of course it is difficult, annoying, frustrating and often a doubting situation to have a blind dog when you were not expecting anything other then the perfect little one to fill your heart.
And yes, that breeder should have known there was a problem but that is neither here nor there now.
The little guy is in your home and he needs your heart. He may cause work and create some issues but, so what?
IF you really can not handle his disability then find a home that can. Be fair to the furry soul that did nothing wrong. He won't be happy if he is with a family that considers him a problem child.
But I think you can handle him just from the way you are enjoying his shredding up your papers when you were cutting coupons. And you are reaching out...
Do you have your work cut out for you? Yup...you do.
Is there going to be dog pee on your floors? Count on it.
but..I have a fifteen weeker and I have pee on my floor...and she certainly is a great deal of work!!
Is she blind? no
but she does not know how to listen very well yet, she runs off with my underwear and I get sleep only some nights.
it is only a matter of training.
I think that when you come to accepting that your blind baby is yours and that you are committed to providing him the best life possible, that your responsiblity is now to find out how to train and keep happy a blind furchild then that is when your gifts will come.
My best bet, my heart truths tell me that if you can accept your challenge and embrace what is required of you now that you will receive far greater then anything you can give to him.
It is a dogs heart that heals our own.
He will see the world through those around him who love him.
Your his Momma....your eyes will be his vision. And he will thrive with all of the other senses he does have. Given a chance he will be amazing.
I know there are many others on this site that will encourage you, understand you and speaking for myself...consider you a hero for doing what is best for your happy, trusting and yes blind furchild.
PS
there is nothing wrong with admitting limitations. IF you really can't then do find someone who can.

:gig What is it with the underwear?(blush)

_________________
Zoey parti-color DOB 2/20/2009 my first dog
Deuce the maine coon cat
Flash the ragdoll cat
Riley and Grayson my "skin kids"
Princess Bambi the bunny
Sam and Carly the hermit crabs


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:00 pm 
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Thanks to everyone for your stories, it was just what I needed to hear. After many many tears I have decided I just can't part with him. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I need him as much as he needs us. I contacted our Cocker rescues and they just do not have room for him. One that I had talked to made me feel like I did something wrong by not taking him back to the breeder since "the outlook for a dog with his disabilities is not good,most people are having to choose between bills and groceries and do not have money for his multiple meds, he is a high maintenance dog". I took him to the Humane society and are awaiting scheduling to call me to get his neutering done. He is going in today for labs to check his kidney and liver function for anesthesia. I am having him checked for heartworm too since he did not get a lot of care and don't know if he was ever checked:( I know neutering will help a lot with his marking issues and are using a belly band on him right now. He is not happy with it and he tried to lift his leg. So instead of peeing in the house, he pooped right in front of me!! What a sassy boy he is:) I have also decided not to have my female bred and are going to get her fixed too. Toby needs me more than I need to take on a litter of pups and not knowing what kind of homes those little babes will be going to is way more than I can deal with.It really came down to having to hear from everyone else how "undesirable" he is to others to make he see just how perfect he is for me. I will keep everyone posted and I know this is going to be a journey rather than a quick fix. But all it takes is one look into those big brown eyes to remind me that he did not ask for this. He is forever home!!

_________________
Kris T

My babes~Black Gypsy Rose Cynders 05/27/09 & Toby buff male 11/08/08

Still in my heart Shawnee girl 02/14/2000-07/14/2009


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 2:28 pm 
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Kris T Wisconsin wrote:
Thanks to everyone for your stories, it was just what I needed to hear. After many many tears I have decided I just can't part with him. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I need him as much as he needs us. I contacted our Cocker rescues and they just do not have room for him. One that I had talked to made me feel like I did something wrong by not taking him back to the breeder since "the outlook for a dog with his disabilities is not good,most people are having to choose between bills and groceries and do not have money for his multiple meds, he is a high maintenance dog". I took him to the Humane society and are awaiting scheduling to call me to get his neutering done. He is going in today for labs to check his kidney and liver function for anesthesia. I am having him checked for heartworm too since he did not get a lot of care and don't know if he was ever checked:( I know neutering will help a lot with his marking issues and are using a belly band on him right now. He is not happy with it and he tried to lift his leg. So instead of peeing in the house, he pooped right in front of me!! What a sassy boy he is:) I have also decided not to have my female bred and are going to get her fixed too. Toby needs me more than I need to take on a litter of pups and not knowing what kind of homes those little babes will be going to is way more than I can deal with.It really came down to having to hear from everyone else how "undesirable" he is to others to make he see just how perfect he is for me. I will keep everyone posted and I know this is going to be a journey rather than a quick fix. But all it takes is one look into those big brown eyes to remind me that he did not ask for this. He is forever home!!

:hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap :hp :Clap

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Bentley, CGC, Buff Cocker ~ 10/13/07
Paisley, CGC, Chocolate and Tan Cocker ~ 5/5/09
KC, Chocolate Lab ~ 5/5/05
Cabo, Golden Retriever ~ 3/18/08
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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 2:48 pm 
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Kris, I know you made the right decision. Toby is one lucky pup to have found you, not all 'special needs dogs' are as lucky as he is. I am looking forward to your updates and stories about him and wishing you many happy years with your new boy.

Thank you for giving him a forever home :hp :paw :hp

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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:09 pm 
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YES...WHOOHOOO FOR TOBY :joy :Clap


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:09 pm 
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On a lighter note, (and those memories of mine had me in tears most of the night...so maybe I need one, lol)

Nothing is as good of a mock threat as telling your problem blind dog that if they dont behave this instant youre moving the food dish. Horrible! I know! But the second that mental image hits your brain, youre laughing and you forgot about the naughty behavior.


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 5:50 am 
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I Rescued A Cocker!
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Sometimes a sense of humor about a sad situation is the best way to handle it. :th-up

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Juanita and DeeDee

Missing Abi and Leroy with all my heart.


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 Post subject: Re: Help! I need a pep talk
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:55 am 
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Kris T Wisconsin wrote:
It really came down to having to hear from everyone else how "undesirable" he is to others to make he see just how perfect he is for me..... He is forever home!!


That's a beautiful sentiment!

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Sally
My lovebugs:
Molly, Cocker Spaniel
Cuddles, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Cooper, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
Anya, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel


I don't know what tomorrow holds...but I know who holds tomorrow.


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